3rd Anniversary of Pretzel Incident

3 years ago today, our brave Commander in Chief foiled an assassination attempt by a salty bit of hardened dough. He bravely wrestled it to the ground, sustaining an abrasion and bruise on his cheek, a bruised lip, and a cut on the side of his face. In the years that followed, he was also attacked by a Segway Scooter and a bicycle.